Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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