Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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