How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
