you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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