Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
