she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
