I CAN MOONWALK!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
