so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
