my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
His hands were made for my vagina.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
