she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
