My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We had to coat check the pizza.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
