sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
