could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
