I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
