just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
