So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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