A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
