you traded sex for a burrito?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
