I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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