i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
