Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
