i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
