she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Drunk is not a location!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
