Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
