suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
foreskin is a definite game changer
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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