I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
