Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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