shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
