i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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