My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
this hospital has no fireball
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
