i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
