Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
