first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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