Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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