I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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