I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
