About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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