My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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