like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
