He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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