Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
