i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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