My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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