You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
