that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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