It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
