that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize