Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
