Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
These tits shall not be calmed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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