one word: firstdatebathroomanal
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
