Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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