ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
